You Are Here
The thing that makes our world so interesting is not just the idea that we have come from thousands of years of tribe-based survival to being all digitized and sheltered in our lives. There is also the idea that each of us is different and we all live our own unique lives. There is not one person who is alive whose path isn’t unique to their own existence. I would like to explore this modern-day perspective more deeply. What exactly is the great divide between people?
Some people choose to live a life of constant development. This likely has to do with overcoming a challenge or hardship. It is far easier to stand in your power once you have watched yourself overcome challenge. My feeling is that our world needs those people. We often think of fire fighters, police, and doctors as the heroes of society. People who have overcome difficulty are just as valuable. Those are the people who help to guide the world around them whether or not it is ever truly seen and appreciated. They help the world, because it is the right thing to do.
I think the key to appreciating life is to learn to see it as a ride. The more you embrace that mindset the less attached you will feel. Our biggest moments of learning are when our world is rattled. That holds true for both the individual and the collective. No one likes having their world rattled…….but that is how it feels to be forced to face reality. Facing reality is ultimately a good thing. If there really is truth to something that was said or had happened – we are only serving ourselves an injustice for taking away the opportunity to enhance our own understanding for our own good.
My personal feeling is that most people get caught up in resisting something, because deep down they really just want to be enjoying the ride. Enjoying the ride before you have overcome difficulty is a challenging task. Having a boosted ego is not what I call enjoying the ride. What happens when a boosted ego feels threatened? It goes on attack mode. An ego that is always ready to go into attack mode is not enjoying the ride.
I am currently 36 years old and I can now say that I have been on both sides of the fence. Not in terms of having an ego that’s always ready to pounce, but in the sense that I have both struggled with my ride – and now have enjoyed it immensely. Getting myself to a place where I enjoy my own ride was its own journey. My journey gave me not only goals, but confidence, too. I have confidence due to experiencing that which I do not prefer.
There is enjoying the ride – and there is the journey of getting there. The painful part is that we all get there at different times. This, in my opinion, is what makes it a quest to feel connected in our world. If we all reached a point of clarity at the same age then feeling connecting to other people would take no effort at all. We could have an entire culture based around “coming to the age of clarity” if it were that easy. We could have a society that is effectively spell-bound by dysfunction.
The fact is life is a ride and we need teachers just as much as we need a police officer or a nurse. Some people go their entire life never realizing that life is a ride meant to educate and meant to be appreciated. The whole reason people are taken aback by seeing a homeless person is that we realize on some level that they are not enjoying their ride. If you think about it – the shock you feel upon seeing a sociopath is similar to the hesitancy one can feel around a homeless person. In both cases you are feeling the discomfort of someone who is not enjoying their ride.
On the other hand – appreciation is subject to the most growth through the experience of overcoming difficulty. The difference between those who spend their life developing and those who are getting caught up in drama is huge. This difference has a lot to teach us. The root idea here seems to be that of discipline. Why are some people full of discipline while others feel like they are merely muddling along?
I would argue that the individual personality matters that much. Some personalities find it naturally beneficial to be honest with themselves about their shadow side. The key idea here is openness. People who are inclined towards being stuck in their shadow side are probably lacking a real sense of openness in their life. You have to be open to the honesty of looking at your shadow. If you are someone who is going to develop into better and better versions of yourself – the key ingredient is self-honesty.
Having a good character is more than just paying your bills and cleaning your home. A person with good character will see that there are always improvements to be made. Even when everything is good – there is always a way for a person to keep developing.
A person fueled by the ego only wants more. I think it is safe to say that the ego does not know what is in its own best interest. What a person really needs is more positivity. It isn’t necessarily a bad thing to own a lot of stuff, but it should be a natural result of surrendering to the unfolding of your own unique path. That is how the individual personality inhabits a life of development.
A person with a healthy ego can protect or defend themselves without harming anything or anyone. That is a person that does not operate out of ego. I had a life coach in my early 20’s who said “Good, better, best….never let it rest.” I think that one notion encapsulates what it means to be a spiritual being. Progress has no finish line.
I think people become depressed, because the idea that we are only on planet Earth for survival can feel empty and meaningless. The truth is we put our own meaning into our own life. Every person and every circumstance has the power to show us something. The goal is to develop into a better version of yourself through life’s challenges. It may not always feel good to face a challenge, but it is challenge that can push a person into a spiritual existence.
Spirituality is not just some idea meant to help you sleep better at night. It is a real truth that you can live day-to-day. The beauty of living with openness is that it leads way to having a sense of the profound. The profound side of life can be with you at any given moment. People who are the most likely to complain are also the least likely to be open. It really is a bit of a paradox. A sense of openness is the one thing they need to temper their ego – and yet to be open feels like an invitation for a violation.
Enlightenment is not about always only having good feelings. Sometimes something happens in the moment that is genuinely painful. A truly spiritual person will intentionally feel all of the pain. This is a person who lives in such a way where the aim is to not separate one’s self from the present moment. Living in the present moment is a practice. Those who do not practice tend to carry a resistance towards anything perceived to be negative.
The great thing about life presenting you with pain is that pain is the strongest way through which you can grow in your capacity for being present. If pain were not a real thing, then no real growth in any way would be possible. People who live a life of constant development don’t live a life void of pain. They have simply learned how to grow beyond the point of being hindered by pain.
Personally, I feel like the best way to make it through this life is to know truly good people. One can have many interests and desires, but with no beneficial interactions that same person can get the feeling that life is nothing but one long trial. I have empathy for those people. I find myself wishing those people would find something or someone that can transform their experience towards the positive.
I am lucky in that I have always known the right people. The only negativity I have been caught up in is dealing with my own emotions. My parents split up when I was three years old. I went through a phase in my late teens and early 20’s where I consistently needed help with my emotions. I had the help of a very experienced life coach when I was 19 or 20 years old. That coach has since passed away – but when I see how much I enjoy life as a 36-year-old it makes me think of him.
I owe my life to both him and my Mom. My Mom runs a business and has always done whatever she can to support me. My step Dad was the owner who ran it with her, but to be honest he was more about keeping his cars clean and his yard well managed. He passed away about three years ago. All the real personal support came from my Mom. I have had so much goodness in my life that when my emotions flared up there was no worthwhile target to aim at. That was how I knew I needed help.
I now have two degrees that I love and I plan to make a life out of both of them. Technical communications and graphic design. They go hand-in-hand when faced with our modern digital society. I am almost a year and a half out of school and have spent that time building my portfolio. I am including writing and photography in addition to design. My graphic design degree was done at a two-year tech school – so it was all very hands on. Taking photography was part of that curriculum. I work the closing shift at a grocery store Monday through Friday and work on my creative skills during the day and also on the weekends.
I enjoy my job at the grocery store and I also enjoy building my portfolio in my free time. This was made possible due to my Mom. She lets me live at home to save money and she lets me work a schedule that aids me in building my profession. It took a lot of work for me to get here and it continues to take work to get the most out of what I have. The idea that my progress is self-motivated I find to be very invigorating. My progress being in my own hands feels very empowering.
Our world is difficult and it takes a sense of intelligence to navigate. I feel myself living in a time where the prospect of AI taking over is frightening to people. It just so happens that I am one of those people who found a direction. The feeling I get from that makes me feel like I am one of the fortunate ones within a land of uncertainty.
On the other hand, I always feel like there is hope for everyone. Even when I think about people who are in jail and genuinely belong there – I find myself imagining a future where our society has gotten a better handle on things. I have never felt like it is impossible to change the world. Those two feelings are what push me to keep going down my path.
It might look to others like I am taking a big risk to put my creativity on the line – but I find it enriching. Even if my efforts fall flat, I still rest easy knowing that I have my communications degree to fall back on. It also helps that I spent four years being a contractor before I went back for graphic design. Working call centers for four years and then being a checker for four years has given me a great sense of what it is to have a successful customer interaction. If my creative efforts go nowhere then at least I have solid work experience to lean on. My life feels very sound to me. I did not have that sense of security and strength when I originally graduated with only my communications degree.
I say all of that to say this – positivity about one’s overall life does not come easy. If we can all be positive with each other, we can then begin to create a new world where people don’t get trapped in their own suffering. Have your goals, but also have love for the human condition. Some might say we need to be repaired. I say we need to be loved into being. Our ability to be constantly becoming is made possible due to the reality that our true nature is infinite. If infinity truly has no end…..that means development also has no end.